2nd Draft – Timeline and Outline30 May
2nd Draft
Chapter: 1 of Draft 1 goes to Appendix
Timeframe:
Character:
Theme/ Tagline:
Chapter: 2 (becomes new Chapter 1 in 2nd Draft)
Timeframe: 12/00 to 2/03
Character: Bellmont, Mejia, Carpenter, Link
Theme/ Tagline: Training for OIF1; traditional fire-and-maneuver training; Bellmont, Mejia, Link are junior Marines, PFCs and LCpls in 3d Platoon, Lima Co going through Bridgeport where SSgt Carpenter, an instructor, wants to get into Iraq fight, and decides to request 29 Palms, where he wants to become a Gunner, but is frustrated to be assigned to a Rifle Company
Chapter: 3
Timeframe: 3/03 to 4/03
Character: Bellmont, Mejia, Carpenter
Theme/ Tagline: The Push from Kuwait to Baghdad, assault on 32nd, living in AmTracks, attack on prison to find US prisoners gone, Soccer Stadium
Chapter: 4
Timeframe: 4/03 to 5/03
Character: Bellmont, Mejia
Theme/ Tagline: Baghdad, Tanks detach, looting starts, patrols find T-72 and SCUD, Phase#1 (Quinn)
Chapter: 5
Timeframe: 5/03 to 7/03
Character: Vegh, Neal, Gannon, Carpenter
Theme/ Tagline: 96 Hour Break, LtCol Lopez assumes 3/7 command, Battalion to Karbala, Lima to Soccer Stadium, Gannon, Neal join Lima
Chapter: 6
Timeframe: 9/03 to 2/04
Character: Quinn
Theme/ Tagline: Aftermath of OIF1, Phase#2 (Quinn)
Chapter: 7
Timeframe: 9/03 to 3/04
Character: Vegh, Neal, Gannon, Watson, Link, Bellmont, Mejia
Theme/ Tagline: Training for OIF2 at Husaybah (Vegh assessment, next to worthless); Gannon sees risk coming, but training time is constrained due to redeployment schedule, and expectations are for permissive/ benign operating environment
Chapter: 8
Timeframe: Apr 8, 2004
Character: Watson, Link, Bellmont, Mejia, Ruckel, Brown D
Theme/ Tagline: 3d Platoon “Presence Patrol” is hit by multiple IEDs, Lt Watson WIA in middle Squad, LCpl Wasser KIA in Southern Squad, Link uses Satellite Patrolling in Northern Squad, but no small arms (begin tie in with Blood Stripes book, footnotes)
Chapter: 9
Timeframe: Apr 14, 2004
Character: Watson, Link Bellmont, Mejia, Ruckel
Theme/ Tagline: 3d Platoon is hit by IED on top of Crackhouse (CP69), Roshak WIA, Lt Watson WIA, Link maneuvers against enemy, Bellmont detached with snipers, carries one after WIA, same day as Dunham MOH, enemy uses small arms, focuses on boundary between Lima and Kilo (tie in with Gift of Valor book, footnotes)
Chapter: 10
Timeframe: 17 and 18 Apr, 2004
Character: Watson, Link, Bellmont, Mejia, Gannon, Neal, Carpenter, Vegh, Ruckel
Theme/ Tagline: Battle of Husaybah, Broadsword (Recon) initiates, Capt Gannon, Cpl Gibson, LCpl VanLeuven Lcpl Lugo, LCpl Smith, LCpl Valdez KIA; Mejia’s Squad, Link’s Squad sweeps E to W (17th), then N to S (18th); Vegh leads Link’s Squad against Sniper; Ruckel, SAW Gunner in Awtry’s Platoon attacks Target House while Neal, Bellmont, Doc Purviance lead 2-Platoon attack; Insurgents pick stand up fight and lose, at cost of 6 KIA, first Marine Co CO KIA since Vietnam
Chapter: 11
Timeframe: 4/04 to 7/04
Character: Neal, Carpenter, Watson, Mejia, Bellmont, Link, Vegh
Theme/ Tagline: 3d Platoon conducts successful Counter-Mortar OP by covert movement at night to insurgent firing position, surprises; Watson, Mejia, Link, Bellmont are key leaders
Chapter: 12
Timeframe: 5/04 to 11/05
Character: Quinn
Theme/ Tagline: Aftermath of Husaybah Deployment (OIF2?), Phase#3 (Quinn)
Chapter: 13
Timeframe: 9/04 to 8/05
Character: Quinn, Watson, Larson, Link, Bellmont, Mejia
Theme/ Tagline: Quinn assumes command on last day of Husaybah deployment, Luscious Lima suggested by Vegh, Carpenter, counterculture to operational challenges in Husaybah deployment, Watson to XO, Link to Plt Sgt, Larson assumes Lima 3 Plt Cmdr
Chapter: 14
Timeframe: Oct 4, 2005
Character: Quinn, Watson, Larson, Link, Bellmont, Mejia, Mujica-Parodi, Doc, Lanpolsaen,
Theme/ Tagline: Marines continue to use traditional tactics against insurgents without success; several close calls late Sept (Lanpolsaen), almost losing 7-Ton; The Sweep on 4 Oct 05 results in PFC Bedard KIA as driver, Lt Hendricks WIA in passenger seat, Doc Leo WIA behind driver, Seely WIA as gunner, Lt Watson behind passenger helps extract, Bellmont treats Hendricks, Doc Leo, who treats Lt Hendricks (Bronze Star, Doc Leo); Larson, dismounted, almost loses Marines due to no overwatch, and frustration with traditional tactics mount; Marines maintain professionalism despite losses; Mujica replaces Hendricks (begin tie in with Senator’s Son, footnotes)
Chapter: 15
Timeframe: 10/05 to 12/05
Character: Quinn, Watson, Larson, Link, Bellmont, Mejia, Mujica-Parodi
Theme/ Tagline: Elections at IED elbow; Larson leads Lima 3 in elections with no voters, but a success in late Phase #3 (Quinn) (win by not losing); Link is experienced Platoon Sergeant; Mejia squad leader (?); Mujica-Parodi takes over his new platoon
Chapter: 16
Timeframe: 12/05 to ?/06
Character: Quinn, Watson, Larson, Mujica-Parodi, Lanpolsean, Frustaglio
Theme/ Tagline: Start of Awakening (11/28/05), Phase #4 (Quinn), but can only identify Tipping Point in retrospect; 7 Dec 05, AQIZ reacts against Awakening initiative with complex IED on In Between, Secondary IED (Fuel enhanced 3x 122m under 7 Ton) Cpl Bier KIA, Frustaglio et al WIA, Lanpolsaen heroically extracts WIA (Bronze Star), Mujica responds; Mujica, Larson, Larisy, Watson frustrated at traditional tactics, look to COIN as Werth and other Marines on post in Snake Pit see red on red firefights “in zone” in Ramadi, indicating Awakening is starting against AQIZ
Chapter: 17
Timeframe: 11/28/05 to 9/06
Character: Quinn, Larson, Mujica-Parodi
Theme/ Tagline: Awakening, Aftermath of Ramadi 1, Phase #4 (Quinn)
Chapter: 18
Timeframe: 6/06 to 4/07
Character: Mainz, Larson, Mujica-Parodi, Humphrey, Bellmont, Mejia
Theme/ Tagline: Prep for Ramadi 2; LtCol Turner insists on solid basic skills (Bridgeport); Mujica pushes COIN with his platoon, including Humphrey, Saunders, Werth, Prochuska, rank is nothing, talent is everything; Mainz assumes command, COIN background from Quantico; Mainz meets with Mujica, Humphrey, Saunders, Werth, Prochuska who ask for CAP in coming Ramadi deployment, but are denied; Mejia becomes force protection/ site security/ “mini-gunner”; Bellmont is Company S-2 Chief
Chapter: 19
Timeframe: 4/07 to 4/07
Character: Mainz, Larson, Mujica-Parodi, Humphrey, Bellmont, Mejia, Werth, Falk, Quinn
Theme/ Tagline: How I Broke My Rifle Company; Mainz brings non-standard advance party and sees from 1/6 that situation in Ramadi has shifted with a JSS at Warar; Blink moment, changes plan on fly to do JSS in Ramadi with support of LtCol Turner; frocks Humphrey (Rank is Nothing, Talent is Everything), and reorganizes with focus of main effort on JSS; Phase #5 (Quinn); Mejia as Mini-Gunner, and Bellmont at S-2 Chief (Talent is Everything)
Chapter: 20
Timeframe: 4/07 to 9/07
Character: Mainz, Larson, Mujica-Parodi, Humphrey, Bellmont, Mejia, Werth, Falk
Theme/ Tagline: JSS Operations; Jumayah (Humphrey, and Bravo Saunders); Azzizziyah (Falk, Werth Bravo); Thaylet (Mujica, Prochuska Bravo); 4 other stations; role of COIN Marine = mayor, venture capitalist, union boss,
Chapter: 21
Timeframe: 9/07 to 10/07
Character: Mainz, Larson, Mujica-Parodi, Humphrey, Bellmont, Mejia, Werth, Falk
Theme/ Tagline: Expanding My AO: Patrols walk at conversational pace instead of bounding; Iraq celebrates a victory in soccer; The Ramadi 5K is organized and run; Larson and Mejia, battle-buddies make weekly round; Bellmont maintains tradition of a sarcastic weekly newsletter under the unrelenting demands of Mainz; Lima Company functions as a Combined Arms Company, in effect a multi-national combined Battalion, Phase #6 (Quinn)
Timeframe: 22
Character: 10/07 to …
Character: Falk,
Theme/ Tagline: Bellmont ends book being interviewed in barracks at 29 Palms after 4 deployments; Gunner Carpenter, 3/7 Gunner on 5th Deployment picture with Dominique Neal, CO, LAR Company, at Camp Gannon; Aftermath of Ramadi 2; First Arab Democracy is born from Lima 3/7 and other Marine Companies going from fire-and-maneuver to COIN; institutional credibility of US Military is maintained, in contrast to Vietnam, a lost counterinsurgency (compare and contrast Jim Webb who had a fire-and-maneuver Vietnam experience with Bing West who had a COIN Vietnam experience as basis for different outlook on Iraq, possibly?); Lima 3/7 will make future deployments, first to Iraq, then to Afghanistan, applying COIN lessons from 03 to 07 deployments; Iraq COIN Marines, possibly like Small Wars Marines of 1930s, sustain the traditions of the Marine Corps as in previous generations when the traditions were carried forward through Small Wars veterans like Puller, Krulak…
Appendix: (former Chapter 1 from 1st Draft); 3d and 4th Generation Warfare, COIN movement in late 2000s in US Military (Petraeus) despite scepticism of Lind et al; Gladwell tie-ins; any personal views
Feedback:
Lubin
I’d organize it thru a timeline, and have a few main characters about whom the story is woven.
(my response to Lubin) doug and i have interviews with those 2 Marines covering all 4 deployments. the guy who is really interesting is Rory Quinn, who did 3 deployments, 1 as CO Lima, and 1 as XO 3/7. so, if I focus on those 3 as the core of the narrative, then there are about 7 other characters who come in and out.
West
What’s the tagline (one-sentence description); Can you summarize the themes in a page; Band of Bros… traditional linear narratives
From a interview with Junger:
One of Junger’s concerns was how to reach an essential demographic for War–the soldiers themselves and their generation. “The world comes to them through the Internet,” Junger says. “I wanted to reach those guys.” Hence, not only the Hachette audiobook CD with photographs but the enhanced e-book with prose descriptions of events and then video depictions of the same events. “Every two or three pages, there will be 60 seconds of video. I don’t want it too long, I don’t want to detract from the reading experience. It will be like color photographs in a book, but they will be moving color photographs. So you can read about Sergeant Kearney addressing the men, then you can see him delivering that speech after they’ve lost several guys. You can read about that firefight and then see it. You are having an audiovisual experience in the middle of reading. That’s the world we are living in, and I’m not sure if anyone has done that with an e-book yet.”
“When I write anything, I try to imagine that scene visually. The Perfect Storm was my first book–I had no idea how to begin [it], so I said, okay, if this is a movie, what would the opening shot be? I had this image–this pan of the dock, then across the street to the Crow’s Nest, in the back door, up the stairs into the bedroom where a guy’s asleep with a black eye. Humans get an enormous amount of information visually, and if you don’t write visually you lose them.”
From an email from Gallagher: Being based off a blog, avoiding the episodic feel was nigh impossible, something I’d recommend you keep in mind. I don’t necessarily think such is a bad thing, given the nature of modern war. Just my take.
From blog post by Gallagher:
About once a week, I receive an email from an enterprising writer looking to publish his (or her) war tales from Iraq or Afghanistan, seeking advice on how to accomplish such a goal. Of those that share some selections, most really are excellent – after nine or so years, a lot of insanity has ensued that needs to be shared with the larger world.
The problem though, is the marketplace is “fatigued with Iraq and Afghanistan stories.” (I could attribute this quote to about ten different people in the publishing or literary industry). And for everyone not named Sebastian Junger (whose book, WAR, I loved) it can be a struggle to get the right people to read their manuscript, let alone purchase it.
The obvious question is – why is the marketplace fatigued? It’s certainly an indictment on American society in general, but that’s nothing new. In times of economic turmoil, people don’t tend to like being reminded that others are suffering far more than they are. They want to laugh and be distracted. Hence the success of fratire slop like Tucker Max and Sh*t my Dad Says.
Where does that leave the warrior-poet, then? I wish I had a definitive answer. A huge reason why Kaboom got published is because of “The Washington Post” article, I know that. It was up to me from there to weave a quality narrative – something I’d argue I accomplished, given Kaboom’s sustained success since publication. (Au contraire, says a couple dissenting Amazon reviewers!) But I’m not about to recommend to other writers in the military that they should give their command the proverbial middle finger. (Well. Unless said command really, really deserves it and no operational security is violated in the process.) In lieu of that, here is some advice that I can effectively offer, though I’m certainly no expert on the whims and desires of the book world.
1) Make it different – If this is vague and evasive, it’s purposeful. If an outline to “different” existed, it wouldn’t be different anymore. Colby Buzzell achieved great success with My War because it was the first Iraq book written from a grunt’s perspective. Dr. Dave Hnida’s Paradise General comes from the perspective of an Army surgeon. These stick out from the “typical” – and I use that term hesitantly, because there is nothing typical about going to war, especially in modern America – story of soldier goes to combat, fucked up things happen, soldier goes home.
2) Find the right agent – This may take a lot of groundwork on the writer’s part. The right agent can make all the difference for a project – if he or she believes in its potential (and salability, which yes, is in fact a word) they can make things happen writers’ pea-sized brains can’t comprehend. There are a lot of agents out there though, and it’s vital to remember that if a few aren’t interested, that doesn’t mean the next one won’t be. Agents rejected Karl Marlantes’ Matterhorn for thirty-plus years, for Allah’s sake, so they aren’t infallible. (Except for mine. Hi, William!)
3) Wait – and perfect – It took Marlantes thirty-plus years to pen his recently-released-but-already-classic Vietnam novel. Joseph Heller labored on Catch-22 for about fifteen years. And just because the current marketplace is oversaturated with Iraq and Afghanistan war stories (be them fiction or non-fiction), it won’t always be. At some point, that American pup known as capitalism will wake up and be ravenous for all things GWOT.
